I like to view the world as a place of endless opportunity. There are new things to learn, ways to think, places to visit, and people to meet. Life is simply a span of time that we are given to experience the world.

This is great in theory, but in practice, things are often very different. Although most people have a great deal of freedom, many don’t exercise it as much as they should.. or could.

When studying myself and the world around me, it seems there are two strong human tendencies that contribute to this. I find both to be unfortunate. They tend to stagnate lives, and generally make the world a worse place to live in.

1) We are limited by our background.

It is easy to become limited by our previous life experiences. And many of those life experiences were not fully under our control. We can’t control who our parents are, how they chose to raise us, the country we were raised in, the part of the country we were raised in, the family financial situation, the teachers we had at school, etc. But nevertheless, our past has a strong hold on our present, and often our future.

Here are a few examples:

Career. Many people follow a linear career path. They pick area of interest early on, get schooling, get a job, and then climb the ladder in that area. The early choice of an area to study greatly impacted the next few decades of life. What if they had picked something else? What if they had been exposed to more? Would they do something different? Should they have done something different?

Academia. University is supposed to be the land of free thought. Tenure means freedom. Why is it that everyone sticks to their field of training? And typically, it isn’t just a field: it is a subfield of a subfield of the field. They get a PhD in dynamic compilers, get tenure researching dynamic compilers, and then continue to work in dynamic compilers. Why is this? There is so much to explore. Things change quickly.

Religion. I was not raised with a religion. Besides my one year of Christianity, I have stayed non-religious. Many of my friends were raised Christian. Today, they are Christian. Some were raised Buddhist. And today, they are Buddhist. There is a pattern here.

Location. The world is a big place with various types of people, cultures, food, etc. Many people don’t take advantage of this. Growing up in Bay Area, I know many people who have barely left California. Some have barely left the Bay Area! It is like this almost everywhere. Small town folks tend to stay in their small towns. Many big city folk love their big city.

2) We are prejudiced against that which is different.

Our background puts us into a box. What about what is outside of that box? When encountering something new, we almost always get defensive and negative by default.

Again, a few examples:

Career. Engineers think that business folk are stupid douchebags. Business folk think that engineers are dorky code monkeys that exist to build out their ideas. Academics value their ivory tower and often look down on  industry jobs. Industry people think academics are in one large delusional circle jerk with their heads stuck up their butts.

Academia. I lied. Industry folk think academics are in several large circle jerks, not just one. At least in computer engineering and science, there are several “hot” fields at any given time. It is easier to publish in an established “hot” field. It is also easier to get funding from what I understand. Outside of these “hot” circle jerks? Not so easy. (To be fair, you can publish weird stuff. I did in my PhD).

Religion: Those who are religious often believe they are right, and the others are wrong. Those without religion think all of them are wrong. This isn’t necessarily that bad, except for the animosity that can come from it. What kind of animosity? Wars.. lots of wars.

Location. Californians are liberal, hippy, tree-huggers. New Yorkers are asshole investment bankers. Everyone in Miami and LA is shallow. Small town folk have narrow minds. What else? Feel free to insert your favorite location-based stereotype here.

And the list goes on. Historically, white people had a difficult time with those of color in the US. Today straight people have a difficult time with gay people. We tend to not like that which is different.. and that is very unfortunate.

What to do.

Be aware of these tendencies. Help others be aware of them too.

Don’t let our past take a hold of us. Choose what your own personal future should be, and make it happen.

If you find yourself thinking or talking negatively about something different, stop yourself for a second. Do you really understand what you are talking about? Probably not.

So here is my memo to the world:

The world is your oyster. Recognize that box you are in. Step out of it. And show some respect. Thanks!

I recently read an article by Steven Pressfield titled “The most important writing lesson I ever learned”.  In short, the lesson is this: no one wants to read your shit.  I’ve just begun writing, but hopefully over time people won’t mind reading my shit. In any case, here’s some more shit.

This got me thinking more broadly about the most important lesson I ever learned. The lesson is quite simple, and may sound familiar:

Just do it.

Simple right? I would like to think so too, but it took me 23 years to properly apply it outside of just having fun.

The backstory.

I’ve never been good at doing what I’m “supposed” to do.

I was never the model Asian child. I talked back to my parents. I listened to 2pac during class at Chinese school. I cut summer school classes to bike around and explore. This exploring had a few negative consequences: I was caught for stealing a few times*, and put on probation for 2 years after accidentally setting a brush fire.

Despite having a PhD, I was never the model student. I didn’t do homework if it was boring. In college, I stopped copying homework because it took too much time (even with a good friend often offering to give me the answers). I skipped labs to play basketball. It wasn’t long until I brought home my first B, and then my first C, and then D.**

Now this is all fine and dandy, except for when there is something you actually want to do! When you have bad grades, you look like crap on paper. When you look like crap on paper, people don’t take you seriously. It turns out there are tons of people that don’t look like crap on paper, and many that look awesome on paper. And when people don’t take you seriously, it can be hard to get started on whatever you want to do.

The lesson.

At the end of my junior year, I found something I wanted to do. I took a course on computer architecture and found it fascinating. I decided that I wanted to do research in computer architecture.

When I arrived at the M.S. program at the University of Colorado, I was very excited. It was time to start doing research! There was just one problem. I didn’t have an advisor. My friends that looked awesome on paper (and who actually are awesome) started with an advisor funding them. Unfortunately, I started without an advisor and without funding.

I began bugging professors to be my advisor. I went door-to-door, introduced myself, talked with them about their research, and asked if there was something I could help with. All of the professors rejected me in some form. I continued bugging a few professors every week. Each time, I was rejected. This continued for months, and I began to feel hopeless about the situation.

One night, over a few Jack+Cokes, I told one of my good friends about my problem. I told him about the professors I was bugging. I told him about the months of rejection. I told him about how hopeless I felt.

And then I heard perhaps the best advice I will hear in my lifetime:

“What are you doing? Why don’t you just start doing research?”

This blew my mind. I thought I needed an advisor. I thought I needed guidance to begin research. But all of that was wrong. The only person stopping me from doing research was myself.

I began going into a research lab every day. Without a summer internship, I went through the summer. I set my own research agenda. I learned, coded, and collected preliminary data all summer. I also connected with one of the senior students in that lab and he began mentoring me. By the end of summer, I showed a professor the preliminary data, and soon became a funded graduate student. Years later, I completed a PhD in computer architecture, and landed a great industry research job in computer architecture (which I recently quit, but that is a different story).

Lesson learned.

We all have goals. We all have things that we want. No one is going to hand you what you want on a silver platter. The flip side to it is that no one is there to stop you from getting started. So just do it!  Whether you reach the goal or not is irrelevant. Most likely you will gain a lot along the journey.

I’ve found this lesson broadly applicable. If you want to learn anything, just do it. No one will stop you. If you want to do anything, just do it. Just make sure you can live with the consequences. If you see a cute girl/guy and want to talk to them, just do it. You may get rejected, but no one is stopping you from trying. It applies to just about everything.

I’m not saying I’ve always followed this lesson. But, when I have, it has paid off. And, when I haven’t, I have often regretted it.

* I haven’t stolen in years. When you get caught as a minor (and if you do it enough, it is inevitable), you only get slapped on the wrist with a phone call to your parents. As an adult, it’s a stupid way to seriously mess up your life.

** I never got an F in my life. It is actually pretty hard to get an F. With a little bit of work, a D- is very attainable. And, I’m still a horrible student. My PhD advisor once told me, “you are bad at school, but could be a good researcher.”